If you are like most, you probably long to find more meaningful moments in which you feel a sense of deep connection with your child. But how do you feel connected to a “tantruming” toddler, a hormonal tween, or a teen that spends minimal time with you?
Gary Chapman, author of the The 5 Love Languages of Children believes that we all express and experience love in one of the same five ways.. Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, QualityTime, Gifts and Acts of Service.
When parents are able to recognize the language in which their children feel loved, they are able to tweak their expression of love so it’s delivered in a way that their child can best receive it.
Understanding your child's love language creates an opportunity for parents to communicate love to their child so that their child feels genuinely loved. It also allows parents to gain a greater understanding of how their child offers love, since most people receive love in the same language they tend to express it in. Ultimately parents can be more attuned to their child’s delivery of love too.
The concept of Love Languages allows you to understand your child more meaningfully so that you can perhaps reach them before the meltdown, or at best creates more understanding to how to best soothe them so they bounce back as quickly as possible. For tweens and teens, the Love Languages creates a roadmap to effectively communicate love and support specific to their child’s unique personality. When parents’ feel more efficacious to help their children feel loved and adored, it is a win-win situation for all.
You can complete the quiz by clicking here and make sure to choose your child’s specific age range. If they are over the age of 12, they can complete the teen quiz. Once you have identified your child’s primary love language, here are a few ideas to help you support and connect with them.
Physical touch
Sit close and watch their favorite TV show or movie
Hold hands and express your feelings
Snuggle and read a book
Big hugs throughout the day
Words of affirmation
Saying “I’m here for you” multiple times throughout the day
Saying “I love you” multiple times throughout the day
Quality time
Find their favorite activity, like coloring, and spend time together
Taking adventures together
Finding a “fun” activity to do together
Gifts
Homemade presents
Achievement Charts to empower and encourage
Make them their favorite dessert
Acts of service
Carry to bed
Organizing their toys
Giving a bubble bath with their favorite toys
The benefits of child therapy
Therapy is a wonderful tool for healing, but that doesn’t mean that your child has to suffer from something serious to benefit from therapy. Reaching out for help now as an act of preventative maintenance can outfit your child with greater self-awareness and skills for succeeding on their own. Therapy can also enable you to identify the true source of your child’s challenges so that you can meet them head-on with strategies that really work.
So what’s next...
Therapy can help you as a parent reduce your stress, instill greater peace in your home, and ensure your child’s healthy development. To schedule an appointment, Thrive Postpartum, couples and Family therapists can be reached by text or phone at 224-698-9792. Alternatively, you can also schedule an appointment online. We look forward to hearing from you.