Perinatal Grief Therapy

Navigating the Unspoken Grief: Understanding and Supporting Clients Through TFMR

Navigating the Unspoken Grief: Understanding and Supporting Clients Through TFMR

Navigating the Unspoken Grief: Understanding and Supporting Clients Through TFMR

In the intimate confines of a therapist's office, Sarah sat, her hands clasped tightly together, her eyes betraying the weight of the decision she and her partner were about to make. The air was thick with unspoken fears and uncertainties as they navigated the painful terrain of termination for medical reasons (TFMR). It was a journey they never imagined taking, yet one they knew was necessary for the well-being of their unborn child. With compassionate guidance, their therapist helped them find solace amidst the storm of emotions, offering a safe harbor where their grief could be honored, their fears validated, and their hopes gently nurtured.

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Healing Hearts: Navigating Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss with Therapy

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Healing Hearts: Navigating Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss with Therapy

Healing Hearts: Navigating Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss with Therapy

October is a poignant month, a time to acknowledge the pain and heartache that countless families have endured due to pregnancy, infant, and child loss. As we observe Pregnancy, Infant, and Child Loss Awareness Month, it's essential to recognize the profound impact of these losses and the vital role therapy plays in the healing process, particularly with therapists who have expertise in perinatal loss.

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By Stacey O’Connell, LCPC PMH-C, Certified Bereavement Care Provider   We can gain self-awareness related to our grief as well as our needs in other areas When we talk about turning toward grief, what we are talking abo

Five Beautiful Things That Can Happen When We Turn Towards Our Grief

When we talk about turning toward grief, what we are talking about is deciding to respond to our grief in a way that allows us to acknowledge and interact with grief, and accept it over time.  Time spent in self-reflection can allow us to develop a new way of relating to our needs that will allow us to integrate our grief and create room within ourselves to accommodate all of our emotions.

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Ambiguous grief is a concept that I had not been familiar with until a client I had was telling me about her relationship with her estranged daughter. She stated to me “I feel like I’m mourning, but she’s still alive”. So I did some digging and was amazed to find that this was indeed a theory that was already recognized.  Ambiguous grief (or ambiguous loss) at it’s core, is all about the lack of a resolution. When we lose someone to disease or a tragic accident, we go through the process of saying goodbye to this person. We process their death and go through the ceremonial processes of remembering them and their life. But when someone we love and had in our life becomes estranged to us, there is no closure. Closure is an important part of our grief process. It provides us with a way to process what has happened.

There are two categories of ambiguous loss. Type-one ambiguous loss occurs when there is a physical loss. This is where a loved one goes missing, where there is a physical absence with a psychological presence. When someone you love is physically absent under unknown circumstances (i.e. deportation, natural disaster, or kidnapping). It can also come in the form of a loss of contact. These circumstances can include, divorce or estrangement. The person was who was once in our life and is now gone, leaving you without answers.

Type-two ambiguous loss explains a mental or emotional disappearance. When someone’s personality has changed to a point where they no longer look like a person you once knew. Your loved once is present but they’ve changed emotionally or cognitively (sometimes both). Some examples of type-two ambiguous grief can be, Alzheimer’s disease, traumatic brain injury, addiction, or mental illness.

Ambiguous loss can be especially difficult and terrifying. But there are ways to cope with this type of loss and grief. The stages of grief will look differently than traditional stages of grief.

1.       Name What You’re Going Through- this can be a tough feeling to name. But now that you have a way to describe what you’re experiencing, put a label on it so you can begin the healing process.   

2.       Work Towards Acceptance- this will not be the same as closure. When we are not able to find closure through ambiguous grief, acceptance can help you to make peace with the new reality.

3.       Reach out for Support- find a family member, friend, or someone who has gone through something similar. It can be surprising to find that many people can be experiencing similar things to you.

4.       Look for Silver Linings- this is not the same concept of toxic positivity (something we’ll explore at a later post). Instead of looking for the silver linings, look for what has come your way. New friendships, new causes, new chances for personal growth.

5.       Be Kind to Yourself- give yourself grace and compassion as you work through your grief. These are challenging emotions and no timeline to work through them. Give yourself the space and time to do so.

Ambiguous grief or loss is a challenging and tricky road to travel down. Remember to reach out to a therapist who specializes in grief that can help you through the loss.

What Ambiguous Loss Is and How To Deal With It. (2022, February 17). Cleveland Clinic. Retrieved May 23, 2022, from https://health.clevelandclinic.org/ambiguous-loss-and-grief/ 

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Grief and loss will look different for each person, each experience and season of life. Understand, no matter what your experience, you are worthy to find healing, in your time. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, dep

Grief and loss will look different for each person, each experience and season of life. Understand, no matter what your experience, you are worthy to find healing, in your time. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Each of these stages will present themselves very differently depending on your experience. As you gain other capacities in your healing journey, you could experience the same stage multiple times. Give yourself as much space and grace as you can.We want to remind you there is no timeline for grief.