Pregnancy and Postpartum

April is c-section awareness month and during the month of April, Thrive Postpartum and Couples Therapy will be featuring Mamas who have experienced a c-section birth(s). One amazing thing that has been learned through the interviewing process is how different each circumstance is that led to a c-section birth. No matter how your baby was brought into this world, your experience is valid and important. We would like to feature Mamas who have experienced a c-section as many times these experiences are looked over. Discussing c-section experiences can still feel taboo and uncomfortable. But we are hoping to break down barriers and allow for a safe space for these important stories to be told. 

This is Karlie’s story.

1. Please share the circumstances that led to your c-section birth(s). 

My c-sections both happened due to stress on the baby's heart rate after I was given Pitocin. Both were failed inductions. Each time after the epidurals I stopped progressing and more Pitocin was given as a response. Every time the Pitocin was increased to very high levels, the baby's heart rate would drop.

2. What surprised you the most about having a c-section?

What surprised me is that both were so drastically different in the healing process. My first I hardly had any pain at all. Healing was easy and I thought people had over exaggerated  about the pain. My second rocked my world. It was the worst pain I've ever experienced. I could hardly walk and I couldn't get up from a laying down position in bed. One time I remember crying hysterically because I truly didn't know how I would get up from the bed without feeling like my scar was going to open.

3.What kind of support do you feel you received (from friends, family, healthcare team) after your c-section(s)?

I feel that the support of my husband was an absolute blessing. He was hands down the best support I could ever ask for. Without that support I don't know how I would have made it. My friends were supportive as well, but obviously it's not the same as with the person living with you. Healthcare was not the best. One of my doctors was great and the other who discharged me was awful. He told me he wasn't going to give me enough pain meds for more than a week and that I would have to come back into the hospital to get more. Let me clarify that I actually refused pain meds in the hospital because I didn't want to be dependent on them. It wasn't until a nurse explained to me that I didn't need to be a hero by being in pain and to get ahead of it before it's unbearable. It was then that I took more than ibuprofen. What shocked me was that my doctor had expected me to get in a car, drive over all the bumps in the road, to walk through a hospital while I was barely able to stand after my c-section. My husband watched the kids, carried anything and everything, held me up, helped me in and out of chairs/beds/cars, drove me everywhere, and did all the housework and cooking. He is incredible, and something I know I shouldn't take for granted.

4.What’s your #1 piece of advice/encouragement for a new c-section mom?

Advice I have to others is to be prepared for the emotional aspect of having a c-section. There's this sense of loss I had/have. I most likely will never get to experience what society says is "normal", "natural", "God given". This wasn't something I wanted. I think we need to accept that our labors and births are all unique. They give us the greatest blessings we can imagine. There's also a lot of emotions in the actual surgery room. Anxiety, fear, excitement, literally every feeling and emotion. Don't be afraid to ask for help and be vocal in the surgery room. The medicine used can cause a lot of different reactions like shaking and shortness of breath. This is normal and your medical team can help! Post-partum PTSD is real. Seeking help is ok. Talking through your c section is valid.

     

 
   When you first imagined growing your family, did you imagine having two kids? Maybe three?  Surviving a postpartum mood disorder after your first child can throw a wrench into your plans. It can be hard to imagine having a baby again with

Surviving a postpartum mood disorder after your first child can throw a wrench into your plans. It can be hard to imagine having a baby again without knowing the potential of experiencing a Postpartum Mood Disorder (PMD) for the second time.

Unfortunately, no one can for sure say what the odds are of experiencing a PMD after having your second child. What can be said is that someone who has experienced a postpartum mood disorder after the birth of their first child is likely to experience a mood disorder after their second child is born. So instead of asking, “Will I get a PMD again?”, we can instead ask, “How can I be prepared if I were to get a PMD again?”.

     

 
    Your kids are playing together in their playroom, and you hear them fighting over the SAME toy they've been fighting over all day. You have already told them to stop and find their toys to play with, but like always, they are not listeni

Do you feel like all you do is yell? Does your anger overflow? Do you get mad and scream at your kids when they are playing? If you answered yes to these questions, you might be experiencing Mommy Rage. Yes, this is a real thing and is more common than you think.

Moms need more support and space to talk about their emotions without feeling judgment, shame, or the fear of losing their children. We want you to know that it is okay to experience big emotions, and learning to regulate and deregulate yourself is essential and helps model behavior for your children as they confront their big feelings.

     

 
   “Organic strawberries or regular...  do the dishes now or tomorrow...bottle or breast...chicken nuggets or chicken pot pie… Huggies or cloth...co-sleep or crib… daycare or homecare… to work or not to work”  As if the journey of paren

As if the journey of parenthood wasn’t difficult enough, adding in the layer of societal expectations on each and every decision only complicates matters worse. On average a person makes upwards of 35,000 decisions each and every day, intentionally or passively, which leads many to experience known as “decision fatigue.”