Finding new and creative ways to connect with your partner can be challenging. Especially over the course of the last year where couples have been spending more time together due to forced lockdowns, quarantines and pandemic lifestyles. Many of us haven’t been able to have a date night since before the pandemic. Finding the time to do this could be challenging, while balancing all your other responsibilities, and we want you to know there isn’t a right or wrong way. We want to encourage you to find what will work for your family and thrive within that space, here are a few ideas to try on…
Cook together. Don’t over complicate this one and make sure to include a favorite meal you both enjoy to share with the other. Keep it simple. Make macaroni and cheese. Make a salad. Make hamburgers. Make cookies. Make oatmeal. Don’t think it needs to be some lavish meal or something that should take hours. Remember it is about the experience, the time you spend, the conversationS that comes up. The best part is you will have something fun to eat on the other side of it.
Picnic on your living room floor. Grab a blanket, some dishes and drinks to plate whatever you made above. Sometimes the best conversations and quality time happens when you least expect it. We know, you have probably been spending A LOT of time in your homes, and we get it, but sometimes changing things up and intentionally doing something a little different can create an entirely different energy. Try it out!
Watch a documentary together. There are many options available, whether you want to go on a journey of food, farming, sustainability, reality, thought-provoking or an escape. Find something which can help encourage conversations, reflections and connection following.
Curiosity Connection. Staying curious and connected within your relationship is really important. Asking questions. Taking pause to really soak in what your partner is sharing with you. Creating the space needed to learn more about each other and the Gottman Card App is a great starting point. Drs. John & Julie Gottman developed this approach to support all relationships in all stages and seasons of life. It’s also important to note, the goal within this approach is to disarm conflicting verbal messages, increase intimacy, respect and affection, ultimately creating a new layer of understanding and a deeper bond in your relationship. Learn more about the Gottman Method.
Game Night. So this one may seem silly, but try it. Find a game you enjoyed as a kid. Monopoly. Gold Fish. Uno. Bingo. Tic Tac Toe. There are so many different options, but sometimes situational experiences can unlock memories from your past, encourage questions and bring a new layer of connection. These can be some of the more exciting experiences and you can learn a lot about one another.
“There are no prerequisites for worthiness,”
Brené Brown
So as you can see, there are a lot of different ways you can connect with your partner, to meet each other where you are, and identify ways to change it up. Spending time together is key and while you have been spending a lot of time with one another this past year, redefining, reframing and re-imaging can be some of the best medicine you can use. You and your partner are worthy of getting to know each other within this season of your life, it may just take some creativity and thinking outside of the box to get it done.
So what’s next....
Therapy provides you and your partner with a compassionate space where you can let go and share your story with someone who can provide you with unbiased support. Fortunately, our specially trained couples therapists can teach you to use evidence-based tools and strategies to increase your fondness, admiration, and respect for one another. To schedule an appointment, Thrive Postpartum, Couples and Family Therapists can be reached by text or phone at 224-698-9792. Alternatively you can also schedule an appointment online. Let us help you revive and restore the fulfilling connection you and your partner once had. We look forward to hearing from you