What You Need to Know About Discernment Counseling
Relationships can be challenging, especially when you’re not sure whether to stay in a relationship or part ways. If you’re feeling uncertain about your marriage or partnership, discernment counseling might be the right step for you.
In this blog, we’ll dive into what discernment counseling is, how it works, and why it can be so beneficial for couples who are on the fence about their relationship.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is a specialized form of therapy designed for couples who are unsure about the future of their relationship. If one partner is leaning towards ending the relationship and the other wants to work things out, discernment counseling helps both partners gain clarity about their options and make an informed decision about their next steps.
Unlike traditional couples counseling, which aims to resolve issues in the relationship, discernment counseling is focused on decision-making. It is not about fixing problems but about providing clarity for the couple to decide whether they want to work on their marriage or separate.
How Does Discernment Counseling Work?
The format of discernment counseling is brief and structured. It typically begins with a 2-hour initial session where the therapist gathers background information, listens to each person’s perspective, and helps clarify goals. The therapist will then work with the couple to explore each person’s thoughts, feelings, and priorities regarding the relationship.
After the initial session, subsequent sessions are typically 90 minutes long, giving both partners ample time to reflect, communicate, and decide what they want for their future. These sessions are designed to help you understand each other’s points of view, acknowledge any barriers to moving forward, and get clear on your feelings about the relationship.
Who Is Discernment Counseling For?
Discernment counseling is not for couples who have already made up their minds. It’s for couples who are at a crossroads—those who are unsure whether they should continue working on their relationship or separate. It’s a great option when one person is more committed to the relationship than the other or when there is significant uncertainty about whether to stay or go.
If you and your partner are facing a major decision, like whether to stay together or separate, but aren’t sure which path is right, discernment counseling can provide the structure and support you need to make that decision.
Why Isn’t Discernment Counseling Covered by Insurance?
Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on ongoing treatment to resolve conflicts and improve communication, discernment counseling is short-term and goal-focused. Since the purpose of this therapy is to help couples make a decision rather than solve long-term relational issues, it doesn’t fit the traditional therapy model that insurance companies typically cover.
While discernment counseling is not covered by insurance, many couples find the investment worthwhile, as it helps them gain clarity and direction about their relationship. Whether the outcome is reconciliation or separation, the decision made in discernment counseling is often a more thoughtful and informed one.
What Happens After Discernment Counseling?
After completing discernment counseling, you and your partner will have a clearer understanding of your relationship and the decision you want to make. The three possible outcomes are:
Reconciliation: If both partners decide they want to work on their marriage, they can move into traditional couples counseling to address the issues in the relationship.
Separation: If you decide that separation is the best option, discernment counseling can help guide you through that process respectfully and thoughtfully.
Status Quo: Sometimes, one partner may decide they need more time before making a decision. Discernment counseling helps clarify whether taking a break or waiting to decide is the right approach.
Why Choose Discernment Counseling?
Making a decision about the future of your relationship is incredibly difficult, but having clarity can make all the difference. Discernment counseling provides you and your partner with the space and support to gain insight into your feelings, allowing you to make an informed decision that is best for both of you.
Whether your relationship is worth saving or if it’s time to move on, discernment counseling can provide the clarity and direction needed to take the next step with confidence. It is a valuable tool for couples who are unsure of what to do next and need help navigating a challenging period.
In Summary
Discernment counseling is a short-term therapy that helps couples at a crossroads make an informed decision about their relationship.
The process begins with a 2-hour initial session, followed by 90-minute subsequent sessions.
It’s for couples who are uncertain about whether to stay together or separate, but not for those who have already made a decision.
Discernment counseling is typically not covered by insurance, but the investment is often worth it for couples seeking clarity.
After counseling, couples may choose to reconcile, separate, or take more time to decide.
If you and your partner are facing a difficult decision about your relationship, discernment counseling can be a helpful first step. It provides a neutral, structured space for you both to gain clarity and decide what’s best for your future.