True love isn’t as simple as “and they lived happily ever after."
Social media and popular culture fuel the false notion that love is supposed to be effortless, like a fairytale. We grow up believing that our partners are supposed to save us, protect us, provide for us, care for us, and be our best friend. That’s why people often refer to their partners as their “rock.” However, as individuals, we all deal with personal issues that make it impossible to always fulfill those lofty expectations. Everyone comes with some sort of baggage and learning how to love your partner for better or worse—through the good, the bad, and the ugly—takes work.
“Happily ever after is not a fairytale. It’s a choice.” - Fawn Weaver
Conflict in your relationship can be a good thing.
Conflict can be stressful and leave us doubting ourselves and our relationships. However, just because you may run into challenges, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is something wrong. In fact, conflict can be an integral part of a healthy relationship because, if managed correctly, it indicates that both partners are asserting themselves and negotiating. Unfortunately, few of us were ever taught how to communicate effectively or set boundaries so that conflict can serve a healthy purpose.
Healthy boundaries are key to setting your relationship up for success.
You may be wondering, “What do healthy boundaries look like?” While different boundaries may carry more or less significance for you and your partner, some healthy examples may include:
Making time to take care of yourself physically and mentally
Asking your partner for what you need
Supporting one another to pursue goals
Saying “no” without guilt
Saying “yes” out of desire, not out of obligation
Boundaries help promote healthy behaviors.
In the absence of establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries, we typically defer to acts of self-preservation by withdrawing or lashing out. As a result, one person is often left feeling like their needs are not getting met while the other feels like nothing they do is enough. This creates a combative and defeating dynamic where it’s you vs. your partner. What couples should strive for is a collaborative dynamic where it is you and your partner vs. the problem.
It’s possible to tackle challenges together and grow your love.
Fortunately, our specially trained couples therapists can teach you to use evidence-based tools and strategies to increase your fondness, admiration, and respect for one another. In time, you can learn new ways of responding to conflict and challenges that strengthen your intimate connection.
Let us help you revive and restore the fulfilling connection you and your partner once had. Please call 224-698-9792 for your free consultation, or click here to request your first session.